Tuesday, May 30, 2006

How To Make It Rain on Your Garden


Purple kohlrabi in the kitchen garden


1. First do several loads of laundry, preferably made up of lots and lots of delicate and/or tiny things (socks are always good) that take forever to hang up and take down from the laundry line. Stuff that you would prefer not to ever get rained on is the best.


2. Hang this laundry on the line, even if the line is now in the shade for the rest of the day because it took you so long to actually get around to doing the laundry. Once it starts to get dark, laundry will no doubt still be damp, so leave it on the line overnight because there is only the slightest possible chance of rain in the forecast (that you heard two days ago) and really, what is the chance of a bird flying by and using your favorite white go-to-town shirt as a target?


3. The next morning, while your now-even-wetter-because-of-the-heavy-morning-mist laundry is happily drying in the breeze, make up a big jar of sun tea and set it out in the garden.



Deer Tongue lettuce in the onion plot


4. When you know that the laundry on the line is definitely dry at last, do not go out and take it down. Instead, continue doing the several loads of sheets and blankets you are in the middle of washing because you want to hang them out in the bright sun so they will be wonderfully fresh smelling and bleached and disinfected (the sun is a wonderful natural disinfectant) before you store them away for the winter. By this time it should be clouding up quite nicely.


5. As you are carrying the first load of sheets and blankets out to the line and you feel a couple of raindrops land on your arms, do not make a mad dash to pull the dozens of dry little things off the line. It will be too late. They are already getting wet. Congratulations, you have made it rain.


6. But is it not raining enough? Does it look like it might just sprinkle on your perfectly dry clothes and stop? Then stand out in the rain and hang the wet sheets and blankets on the line. At this point a big gust of wind will blow in, the wet sheets will flap in your face, and it should begin to really pour. Keep hanging.



Spanish Black Radish seed pods, Golden Globe turnip seed pods in the background


7. Once everything is on the line and getting wetter than if you had put it out there without it even going through the spin cycle on the washer, grab the laundry basket and walk slowly (do not hurry) back into the house. Open the windows to let in the breeze, and stare in amazement at the miracle of Mother Nature & The Law of Wet Laundry. (Do not actually allow yourself think about all your wet laundry, though.)


Results are not guaranteed, but by following this step-by-step guide, my garden has just received a half inch of rain in 40 minutes, and it is still coming down.


FREE BONUS TIP!
If the barn gate is shut, and there is an entire flock of soggy sheep huddled around it, hoping it will magically open so they can escape from the downpour, DO NOT run the several hundred feet down to the barn to make their wish come true.

It is too late. They are already soaked, and you will only end up even wetter than you already are. They are sheep. They will not melt. And they could probably use a good shower anyway. This tip should also work when other barnyard animals are involved. Probably not a good idea to try it on the cat, though.

© FarmgirlFare.com

17 comments:

  1. ROTFLOL! I love this post!! :-) I'm definitely going to try that next time we need rain.

    Beautiful pictures!

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  2. My method is somewhat simpler, I gaze at the cloudless sky for several days and glance nervously at the wilting plants; when I finally give in and haul out the three hundred feet of hose and water the sky will darken and it will pour for hours. Works every time.

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  3. you also forgot to go have your car washed.

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  4. I've been waiting all week for a break in the rain so I could line dry some cloth diapers that were in dire need of some sunning. Today was the day, very hot and sunny and now I'm wishing it would rain and cool things off.

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  5. This was so funny to read. How true it is. I sometimes hold off on watering because I think it's going to rain, but nope -- I have to make the four-block walk over to my plot, give everything a good soaking, and then it will rain!

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  6. How funny!

    Everyone in Seattle must have their clothes hanging on lines because it has barely quit raining and will now be raining again for the next few days. GAH!

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  7. lololololololololololololololololololol

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  8. LOL You crack me up!

    We were supposed to get storms last nite - as well as today. I was out at the garden plot last nite, then had to come back, rush through leftovers for dinner, and start making cookie doughs for one of Brett's coworker's, whose son's grad party is Friday. There was no time to go out and water the plants at home, but that's ok - it was going to rain!

    Got up this morning - no rain. Some of the plants out back looked a bit like they'd appreciate a drink. Well, they better hope it rains today - no way I have time to take care of that at 6am before heading out the door to work!

    They'll live. Right?

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  9. WE HAVE BEEN IN A DROUGHT FOR SO LONG. BURN BANS HAVE BEEN IN EFFECT FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE FOREVER.
    RANCHERS IN NEARBY COUNTIES HAVE BEEN SELLING OFF THEIR HERDS BECAUSE THEY HAD RECEIVED 2 INCHES OF RAIN SINCE LAST JULY. THURSDAY AND FRIDAY MY TWO DAUGHTERS CAME OVER TO HELP ME START CLEANING OUT THE GARAGE AND ATTIC. THERE WERE MANY THINGS THAT HAD TO BE MOVED TO THE BACKYARD, SO WE COULD GET SOME ORGANIZATION GOING. SATURDAY THE RAINS STARTED MOVING IN FROM THE GULF, AND I HAD TO FRANTICALLY START MOVING THE ELECTRICAL THINGS
    INSIDE. SUNDAY, I SPENT THE DAY DRYING THINGS ON THE LINES AND SPREADING OTHER THINGS OUT TO DRY,
    HERE CAME THE RAIN..AGAIN. OUR FIRST TROPICAL WAVE IS MOVING IN AS I WRITE THIS. THE MOISTURE HAS COME TOO LATE FOR SOME OF THE FARMERS, BUT THE RANCHERS ARE SO RELIEVED...AND SO ARE THE CITY GARDENERS LIKE MYSELF.

    IF YOU NEED RAIN, YOU CAN ALSO DRAG EVERYTHING OUT OF THE GARAGE AND SET IT IN THE BACKYARD.

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  10. snoooort! you are too funny!

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  11. #10 or whatever...plan a picnic! I love the laundry story. My mom used to say the rain was a natural fabric softener. This to my sister and I eyeing our favorite jeans on the line getting rained on. No I would not try the cats they have ways of revenge, like teetering on the edge of the litterpan and missing it.
    Thanks for the lol!!
    Paint

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  12. We once went on holiday in the mountains in the north of Italy. It rained solid for the first week. We hadn't taken umbrellas. So....we went out and bought two.......! Within the hour it had stopped raining and didn't rain at all for the next week.
    So....going by that....perhaps it would be a good idea to just go everywhere important without an umbrella if you want it to rain....preferably having just been to the hairdressers!

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  13. You are too funny! I will try your theory out the next time we have rain predicted but not materializing.

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  14. Wonderful!! I can't stop laughing. And here I thought there was only one surefire way to make it rain:

    Go camping (in a tent); go swimming in nearby lake and hang towels and suits on a line; build a fire to cook steaks and grill corn for dinner; set the picnic table with 100% cotton tablecloth; light many candles (again and again because wind is blowing them out); assume that raindrop sounds are the leaves rustling and that thunder in the distance is fireworks; leave towels on line; put steaks on to cook because a few drops of rain won't matter; wander to car to get umbrellas just in case; walk a little more quickly back to car to get raincapes and spread them on ground beneath minuscule fly tarp in front of tent. Move cutlery and candle lanterns under the tarp but leave the tablecloth on the table; walk briskly back to fire to hold second large umbrella over steaks; walk carefully (juggle plates, corn, bread, perfectly done steaks, umbrellas) over to tarp and sit very close together, crosslegged under tarp with umbrellas set up strategically to stop the driving rain from drenching the bread; hope for more frequent lightning flashes so as to be able to see in dark because candle lanterns have gone out... (on that particularly night, it started raining at about 7:45pm and didn't stop until early the next morning).

    -Elizabeth

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  15. I read this out loud to my hubby while we both laughed! You are amazing . . . I don't understand how you do all that you do.

    Soggy Sheep. I want to name my next cat that. :-)

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  16. A method i found out about just this week. try throwing 10 pounds of grass seed on what has become bare ground due to using yard to cut stove wood for 4 years! It POURED for 2 and 1/2 days! LOL.
    Love your site, especially the part about trimming the tomatoes. Which if I remember was how I found this site.

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